Empowering You to Parent with the Brain in Mind
Parents are the first and most influential teachers in a child's life... 85% of the human brain develops in the first three years of life so we want to help you with tips and tools to make every day count and help you maximize your child’s potential.
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We hope these Simple Ideas With Profound Impact will make the difference in your child's life.
Parenting With the Brain in Mind
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In our previous scientific blog, “Where There Is a Need, There Is a Facility”, we talked about the importance of this third law of brain development. It’s an important law to pay attention to so as not to delay or interfere with the development of motor function in our children. It’s ultra simple. Take away the need for children to use motor functions and we deny them the opportunity to develop those functions.
Here are some easy to understand examples – if we carry a child all the time we deny the child the opportunity to learn to move, if we (or others) speak for the child we deny the child the opportunity to speak, if we always open things, button buttons, tie shoes etc. we deny the child the opportunity to learn to use his hands. Seems pretty obvious, right? Yet, you’d be amazed how many times we parents do things that deny our children the opportunity to develop just because we are not paying attention to our actions! So, first, be aware. Be mindful! The more opportunity (need) we give to a child, the better.
Today, I want to shine a spotlight on a function that this law applies to that is not so obvious, reading. That’s right, reading! Let’s look at why it’s important, how to create the need for your child to learn to read, and how to make sure she becomes a successful and happy reader!
We start with the fact that reading is a neurological function. That’s right. Reading is an ability that all human beings have the potential to develop because we all have a human brain. Along with understanding, speaking, and writing it is an aspect of our language ability, the sophisticated ability that we human beings developed in order to share our thoughts and experiences with each other.
In a pre-Stone Age culture, hunting and foraging for food are the most important survival skills that children need to develop. Most of the truly pre-Stone Age cultures in the world (sadly, there are not many left) have no abstract thinking and, therefore, no abstract language. Knowledge and tradition is transmitted orally from one generation to the next.
In our culture, the ability to read is the most important survival skill. It is not possible to be completely independent if one cannot read and those who read poorly face many problems as a result. For our children, the consequences of not learning to read are just as devastating as not learning to hunt and forage would be for a pre-Stone Age child.
So, how do you provide your child with the need to learn to read? How do you make learning to read fun? What are the first steps to make sure your child continues to be an enthusiastic learner and a good reader? In a future post we will give you specific step by step instruction on teaching a child to read. Here we just want you to begin creating the need and the love for reading. This is, in fact, the most important step! Here are some tips on how you can begin to introduce reading to your child without pressure.
- Read to your child starting from birth. Read to your child regularly. Read to your child frequently. Remember to keep the duration short.
- Read to your child with enthusiasm. Your enthusiasm when reading to your child is the beginning of them wanting to learn to read.
- Make sure you provide your child with lots of opportunity to develop good brain organization. A well developed and well organized brain is the first key to successful learning, especially learning how to read. For more information on how to develop a well organized brain see our free email course and previous blog post on Kickstarting Mobility.
- Provide your child with plenty of opportunity to converse. Ask her questions that are interesting. Ask not to “test” her, but to encourage her curiosity and to let her know that you care about her opinions and her feelings. Answer her questions no matter how simple or how sophisticated they are.
- Show her how enthusiastic YOU are to learn new things. Make learning together part of your “together” activities!
- Write little notes using big print in red ink and give them to your child. You can place the notes on their toys, in a snack box, by her meals, on her bed, and so on. Write one word per card. Keep the notes simple. For example, you can write the following words, one per card – LOVE, YOU, ROCK, SMILE. Read the word to your child. Do it frequently and she will begin to recognize the word and will become interested in learning other words. You will be creating/developing her need to read. As she learns the words LOVE and YOU you can combine them into couplets – LOVE YOU. Later you can teach MOM, DAD, SISTER and then combine them to form MOM LOVES YOU, DAD LOVES YOU, SISTER LOVES YOU, and so on.
- Read her favorite books over and over again. She will most likely memorize them and will begin to pretend that she is reading them. That’s wonderful! Compliment her when she does this and let her recite the book to you whenever she wishes.
Why is encouraging reading from an early age important? Because learning to understand written language is no different than learning to understand spoken language. It is a matter of opportunity. Little children want to do everything that their parents can do and reading is no different.
Again, when it comes to learning to read as well as all other learning, there should be no pressure and no testing! This experience should be just plain enthusiasm, celebration, and fun. I can not stress this enough! If your child learns to read and loves it, he or she will be an enthusiastic reader for life. In contrast, if your child feels pressured or judged when learning he or she will learn just to please you or “the teacher”, and he or she will only read when asked or forced to do so.
So, creating a need must not equal pressure. It means to demonstrate to your child just how much fun it is to understand written language in much the same way that they understand spoken language. It is an avenue to more growth and freedom for your child. Then get ready for the pure joy that comes with that. It is so much fun to see a young child realizing that he or she can read. First a word, then a couplet, a sentence and finally a paragraph! Begin by reading to your child and stay tuned for what follows!
If you’ve been following along since we started posting about the science of child brain development, you now know far more than most parents do about what is actually driving all of those amazing changes in ability that you see in children in the early years of life. So far we have looked at two simple laws that govern brain development.
The first law is the very basic law of nature that says that function determines structure. The end result of this law for us is that the human brain grows through use in very much the same way that muscles develop and grow when we get regular exercise.
The second law is a basic law of neurology that influences how effectively information (stimulation) can reach the brain. The law states that in order to increase the transmission of nerve impulses across the central nervous system, you must increase the stimulus in frequency, intensity, and duration.
By applying this law we can ensure the growth of new neurons and dendrites and the production of more myelin. This increases the speed with which the brain takes in and processes information, turning the brain into a neurological superhighway.
The third and final law that we want to look at is also something quite simple. Just like the other two laws it has a tremendous effect on brain development and the development of functional ability. The third law says… where there is a need, there is a facility.
Doctor Temple Fay, the brilliant neurosurgeon who pioneered many of the ideas that form the foundation for much of what we do, was one of the first people in the medical field to relate this idea to the brain. Speaking about the development of speech in early humans, Fay said, “Man came to speech and verbalized means of communication not by extra cortical cell layers alone but because of the physical contours of the face, jaw, teeth and tongue. Which came first – the chicken or the egg? We may be sure that first there was a need, and then a facility!* Nature is an opportunist! Can you blame her for wanting to put “words” to “song”? *my italics
When saying that nature is an opportunist, Fay was referring to the well established biological phenomenon known as opportunism. An opportunist organism is generally defined as a species that can live and thrive in variable environmental conditions, and sustain itself from a number of different food sources, or can rapidly take advantage of favorable conditions when they arise, because the species is behaviorally sufficiently flexible. The human species, homo sapiens, is a master at adaptability.
Here’s another way to think about this law. Remember Aesop’s Fables?
One of Aesop’s most popular stories is The Crow and the Pitcher. Here’s the text of the fable (translation by George F. Townsend, the standard in English since the 19th Century):
A Crow perishing with thirst saw a pitcher, and hoping to find water, flew to it with delight. When he reached it, he discovered to his grief that it contained so little water that he could not possibly get at it. He tried everything he could think of to reach the water, but all his efforts were in vain. At last he collected as many stones as he could carry and dropped them one by one with his beak into the pitcher, until he brought the water within his reach and thus saved his life.
Necessity is the mother of invention.
The expression “necessity is the mother of invention” is another way of saying that “where there is a need, there is a facility”! So, how does this law work in the brain and in the development of functional abilities? Basically, what the law means is that before a baby can develop an ability there must first be a need for that ability. Increase the need and it is more likely that the function will develop. Decrease the need and it is less likely that the function will develop. While the law applies to the development of both sensory and motor functions, it is particularly applicable to the motor functions of mobility, language, and manual ability.
To give you a sense for how this plays out in everyday life, here’s a scenario that we encountered many years ago. It’s happened a number of times since. A friend, the mother of three young children, contacted us concerned that her youngest child was not speaking. He was nearly three years old so she had some good reasons to be worried. Because functional problems rarely occur in isolation, we asked her about his other abilities. Was there anything else about his development that concerned her? No, everything else was going beautifully. He was well coordinated, bright, curious.
Basically, he was developing very well in every way… except speech. That was our first indication that the problem might not be in him but in his environment. So, we got together so we could spend some time observing him and the family dynamics.
We found that, just as his mother had said, his development looked really good in every way except for the fact that he didn’t speak. He could communicate with gestures and the occasional sound but didn’t say any words. We also found that his older brother and sister doted on him constantly, making sure that he was always happy, and serving as his interpreter.
He had virtually no need to speak because his brother and sister spoke for him! And he was perfectly happy to go along for the ride! So, the good news was that there was really nothing to be concerned about. He was, in fact, developing very well. He just needed more need to speak. We talked about that with his mom, gave her some ideas for how she could increase his need to speak, and within a few months she couldn’t keep him quiet!
One of the popular parenting trends today is teaching baby sign language. Sign language is a wonderful form of communication for children who are deaf and who do not have the potential to develop spoken language. It can also be helpful for removing frustration from children who are struggling with the development of spoken language. Of course, a baby can learn how to sign just as easily as they can learn almost anything else. Indeed, most babies will develop their own sign language all on their own. Pointing fingers and reaching out with arms are perfect examples. But, when used with a baby who has no hearing problems there is a very real risk of delaying spoken language when signs remove the need for speech. And there is really no reason to take this risk if your baby is developing and functioning well. It’s a fad that we discourage because of this.
The same process that happens in speech is also at work in the development of mobility and manual ability. Here’s another great example of this. Since the development of velcro, and its use in the manufacture of shoes and sneakers, the age at which children learn to tie shoes has been dramatically delayed.
Forty years ago most children learned how to tie their shoes by the time they were four years old. Today, few children learn to tie their shoes before six years of age and many do not acquire this ability until they are nine or ten years old! That’s a huge difference! Why? No need. It all boils down to removing the need to develop sophisticated manual ability.
Most likely you’ve heard the expression “dumbing down”. It means the purposeful lowering of standards and expectations and is usually used in reference to intellectual and academic pursuits. This is a physical version of dumbing down. The issue is further complicated by the fact that so many children today are using iPads and iPhones. We often hear people marvel at the fact that a young child can tap an icon on the screen of an iPad and knows how to swipe their finger from left to right. What?!! Seriously?!!
There is simply no comparison between the manual ability required to use an iPad and the manual ability required to build with Duplos / Legos, let alone tie shoelaces; no comparison in terms of the complexity of the task and no comparison in terms of the degree of brain development required to carry out the task.
So, the moral of the story is really quite simple. If you want your child to develop the sophisticated motor abilities that lead to independence, you have to make sure they have enough of a need to develop those abilities.
This means stepping back and allowing your child to learn through trial and error. It means slowing down and taking more time, because learning how to use motor ability takes time. It means you either have to allow more time to get ready to leave the house or you will probably be late occasionally, perhaps often, because letting your child button his buttons and tie his shoes (instead of you doing it for him!) takes time.
When you get anxious because you are not getting done what you think you should be getting done, sit down with a nice cup of tea and remind yourself that it is a good thing to slow down and smell the roses. And know that you are participating in the greatest adventure of them all, the miracle of your child’s brain under construction.
Daniel Coyle has examined the ways in which people, as individuals or as groups, get better in a number of his books. And it all links back to the brain! We’ll be sure to review each of them (listed at bottom of review) in time but will start with the first in his series: The Talent Code: Greatness Isn’t Born. It’s Grown. Here’s How.
Name of Book:
The Talent Code: Greatness Isn’t Born. It’s Grown. Here’s How.
Summary of Book:
A New York Times bestselling author explores cutting-edge brain science to learn where talent comes from, how it grows—and how we can make ourselves smarter.
How does a penniless Russian tennis club with one indoor court create more top 20 women players than the entire United States? How did a small town in rural Italy produce the dozens of painters and sculptors who ignited the Italian Renaissance? Why are so many great soccer players from Brazil?
Where does talent come from, and how does it grow?
New research has revealed that myelin, once considered an inert form of insulation for brain cells, may be the holy grail of acquiring skill. Journalist Daniel Coyle spent years investigating talent hotbeds, interviewing world-class practitioners (top soccer players, violinists, fighter pilots, artists, and bank robbers) and neuroscientists. In clear, accessible language, he presents a solid strategy for skill acquisition—in athletics, fine arts, languages, science or math—that can be successfully applied through a person’s entire lifespan. (Summary courtesy of goodreads.com)
Why We Like It:
Let’s change that to why we LOVE it! This is one of the books we recommend most often to parents. There are many reasons why.
First of all, we recommend it because Daniel Coyle GETS IT! More than any other author writing about the human brain, he understands that the bottom line for everything we do is the development of our brain. He understands this at a very deep level, something we have rarely encountered in more than 4 decades of working with children and the human brain.
Second, Coyle makes an extremely complex subject understandable to a non-scientific audience. This makes The Talent Code perfect reading for our parents, who want to understand more about how their children develop but who, for the most part, are not scientists and don’t want to become scientists! We appreciate this because it is something we have done for many years in working directly with parents of brain-injured children. There are lots of people who know a lot about the brain but there aren’t many who can talk about it in a way that the man or woman on the street can understand.
Ever heard of the 10,000 hour rule? It was formulated by Swedish psychologist, Anders Ericsson. The rule says that expertise in any endeavor is the result of about 10,000 hours of dedicated practice. That’s about ten years. It’s been proven to be true across many fields of endeavor. The Talent Code explains why.
One of the wonderful things about The Talent Code is the way in which it shows the broad application of the neurological principles in many areas of life. Coyle explores the idea in relation to football (soccer), tennis, baseball, music, writing, skateboarding, painting, sculpture, etc. This is important because it highlights just how critical brain development and function is to everything that we do.
Another reason we like this book is because it also looks at the neurological basis of talent with regard to coaching and mentoring. What is the best way to practice a skill? What are the qualities to look for in a good coach or mentor? As children develop interests in various endeavors they will need people in their lives who can foster those interests and help them develop their abilities. The Talent Code can be an invaluable resource for parents as it gives good guidelines for learning how to spot those people.
The Talent Code ends with a look at how we can apply the neurological basis of talent outlined in the book to the fields of education, business, psychology, aging, and raising children. Finally, someone who sees the bigger picture! As I said at the beginning, author Daniel Coyle GETS it!
Others in the Series: